It's been raining this few days, and yup i still like the cool feeling of rain, the calm and peaceful feeling of being alone in the rain. (not without my brolly though).
This morning oh yeah, it rained again and is still raining, i like it especially during rainy nights, nice for sleeping right? 
What have I been up to? It's getting more into a routine actually. But human beings are really strange creatures who doesn't seem to be satisfied. Sometimes, i feel no challenge in what i do, sometimes feels i'm happy and contented, sometimes yearning to be able to do something more. Other times, procrastinating. 
My off days, i like to go gym, to release and relax, exercise is my cure all medicine. If u take that out of my life, i think i'll be so deprived. This is part of my lifestyle already. I rem when i was still at Doha, days without my heart pumping is really feeling shitty. And it makes me depressed man. Cos exercise helps release some endorphins or what nots. Not many of my good friends exercise, and none join same gym as me, so i'm used to being alone already. It's like private run away for that 1-2hrs. Well, boring at times.
hehe being food lover, i try to do some baking during my off days though many times my family turned out to be my guinea pigs. oops. It's therapuetic to cook and bake for me. I enjoy being a 'housewife' once in a while. It gets too much on you to face people outside sometimes that home lets u face the 4walls a while peacefully haha.
If time allows, going around to take pictures and just walk and walk is therapeutic too Everyone needs time to be on their own. Just more or less. I'm used to more time on my own already.
oh ya, before i forget, hmm actually my parents had changed name for me to Xiujin. The character strokes for my old name wasn't as good. I'm not changing it in my i/c but mum carved out the name in a ring for me to be worn. Only my close old friends call my chinese name, so hey gals, can try calling me this name if u rem haha.
Been thinking once in a while, my working colleague this month told me that one can do without a lover but can never do without family. A few years back, like many young adults, the yearning of freedom to be able to make own decision is so strong that parent's protective and tight love can be so suffocating. Well, i do wish to be able to make my own decision now even more so but not without blessings and support from my family. They're the only ones i never doubt for my trust in them. Best friends yes, the very few that i treasure.
In love life, it's hard to give your life to someone just like this compared to a lifetime with your own family. I don't wish to be betrayed or thrown to a sea of disappointment after throwing your trust to someone. But at other times, its nice to be cared for by someone else, to know someone will be there for u till u're old. But family can't be there for u forever.
Suddenly dawn on me, my wheels have been rolling and spinning on the same spot for quite sometime. It's comfortable but lacking in somethings. Hope for some spinning down the road again.
Some quote i read in a book my sister lend me , about daily happiness" No regrets of the past, no worries for the future, at peace with the present"
