Life is all about Choices...

I've enjoyed this 4days training the best. It's non theory, but more physical action. Not only do we learn about self defense etc etc, but also real life situations from the instructors who were really experienced and shared their stories with us. It was so humid and hot that the Hall where we practised in was like a little 'oven'. Sweat coming out from our skin pores all over. We fight and play a bit sometimes.
The trainer is an inspiration to me actually, in the future as well for his students i'm sure. I wish god will always watch over him and his family as well for their safety. From someone so tough to come to so humble now, he's gone a long way. I, i'm sure others as well have utmost respect for him.
Sometimes we don't really have a choice in what we do due to our attachments we have already in our life. As what he always said during training " What comes around, goes around". In buddhist sense, it's call Karma. It's the same in all religion, just putting it differently.
There are many people you will meet in your life, but some left a mark and u learn a big lesson from them.
Thank you Sir. (both trainers)
May you and your families be always blessed and safe...
Actually it's nice to learn how to 'fight' in the good sense to protect yourself and to protect others. Wah if only can learn some taekwando too.

random thoughts ....
I used to wonder why monks can't get married, or have any contact with females.
As i read, hmm. They've chosen the path to let go of all attachments in this world. To have any attachments only points to suffering in some point in life, and one will be thrown in the cycle of rebirth. Lust aside, is it wrong to follow one's heart, to fall in love, or it is a weakness of the mind, not able to control one's mind and let it follow the pleasures in this world? If one has cultivated to the extend where the mind is quietened down, able to be mindful, there wouldn't be such thoughts. Then i wonder, if everyone supposed to have reach that stage, isn't it going to be a world without any human beings anymore where women no longer give birth and all choose to follow the path of enlightenment. Of course, it's hardly ever going to be such a case, cos of human weakness, human craving of the pleasures in this world.

Perhaps all is in the mind, i never thought of relying on another when i was younger, never thought of romantic love, till i let my mind run wild uncontrolled, u seek refuge in others rather than yourself, sufferings will come some day. Is it a sin then to be married and entrust your life to another? Maybe it isn't as long as harm is not caused to him/her, but sufferings will come with attachments. It's a choice to go through the 'sufferings' together then when they come.
Am i talking any sense? hmm maybe someone can enlighten me.

Finally, 4days of sweat and blisters were over. All of my batch mates passed shooting today!!! We started late and started our test only at about 6.45pm. My 2nd and 3rd day practices were totally out cos i'm not used to laser shooting.
I think buddha also helping me hahahaha, cos my laser was still shaking in circles but when i pull the trigger each time, it hit. Strangely, haha cos my batch mates who sat at the stands behind saw too.
Shooting is a lot in the mind for me, maybe i use my mind a lot haha, then triggering and hand posture and grip. I calmed down luckily on time during the final test, treat it as fun shooting like the instructor say and just shoot even though laser is shaking, i use the insight, foresight to shoot at the same time.
Me and my girl buddy who's been beside my lane all this 4days always have the same score as me or very close. both of us go markswoman. Just 1point apart. strange right.
Finally, yeah, this 4days bonded us well and 3cheers!
Watch the world's fastest handgun shooter here. He's incredible! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DpCellB_UQ

Today is the first time i hold a real gun to fire live rounds. Hmm... my first time perhaps was in 2007 when i was still working in school. The Shooting Club teacher let me shoot empty pellets at the rifle range with a pistol. And i find the pistol heavy and hard to maintain stable at the wrist. I still rem my shots came out worse than the students haha.

But today was nervous together with my female batch mates who never open live rounds before, or hold a gun. My hands were shaking. I felt happy like a school student after finished when they gave us marks. And.... i got markswoman (or so they called).
well, it's quite an experience cos it's live, the 'recoil' is there and i can see the smoke and sparks. If i hadn't work out in the gym now and then, i think it's hard to handle the 'recoil'.

Suddenly missed my school days, as i walk home and show my results to my mum
Thank you buddha that everyone is safe for shooting today... and may everyone be safe for the next few days too.

Here's my sharing from my little book

"Please eat less animals, if any at all. On the behalf of voiceless animals...."

If a person does not harm any living being...
and does not kill or cause others to kill-
that person is a true spiritual practitioner - The Buddha

"As I am, so are others; as others are, so am I."
Having thus identified self and others,
harm no one nor have them harmed. - The Buddha.

Firstly, Happy Vesak day to all I was supposed to help out at a temple today but when i reached there, i couldn't find the person in charge and the list did not have my name included. I went ahead to walk around the temple and pray. Felt a bit sorry not being able to help but seems to me the temple has many volunteers, mostly were elderly. Just as i was about to leave, i stopped by the table set up for some books for free distribution. I've grown to like to read all the short stories and some dharmas written by some Venerables. Each reading is like a meditation process, thought process to self reflect and question yourself.

I took some and saw a few CDs. Usually i don't take the CDs cos i like to read more when it comes to books as such. (strangely, i usually don't like to read, really, i've not touched storybooks for donkey years, only read specific topics.) One CD caught my attention. "The Importance of Finding our True Nature" - Dharma Talk by Ven Hyon Gak Sunim. It's a good
title for the CD.haha. I think many wld want to find some answers. I took it with another CD-Rom and left. btw, it's raining so heavily early morning that i think they stopped the 3-step 1bow for a while. They resumed by about 7.30am. It really requires great patience, and endurance to do that. I myself never done it before either only when i was very very young when i went with my mum. Maybe in future, when i'm ready. I think one shouldn't do things just for the sake of doing it, must put your heart and soul to it.

I opened the CD once i'm back home. Venerable Hyon Gak Sunim has a nice voice speaking in perfect English. I thought i wouldn't be patient or interested enough to finish listening but i was captivated till i finished the whole close to 2hrs talk. Well, for me i felt like i'm in a philosophy class again Did i say before that my English was really really bad. (anyway u can see from all my jumbled tenses and sentence structure when reading my blog haha). Had Cs usually for my grades in school days but strangely, i chose English and philosophy in my Uni years. And strangely, the department accepted me! Maybe it's fate haha. naahhh i follow my heart then. And no regrets. My grades were equally bad in all my philo modules and EL modules as well but i never fail any. It's not the grades that i want out of my school years. Taking Philosophy, for many people first reaction was like " wah, so 'chim' (something out of the world)". And many people thought it's about teaching what life is. But no no. Philopsophy back then, none of my books and notes taught me that. But one thing it did, that i learned, is that it opened up many doors for one single notion. For just 1point, a philosopher can write many pages on just 1point. There's just so many ways of looking at it. And none was right or wrong. But no, philosophy never teach u how one should go about one's life. It developed my thinking as a person. Till this day, i know my mum wouldn't want me to take philo or go into arts. Any parents want their child to be successful doctors, lawyers etc, But does it matter when one day every one have to go? Will it give u a better way to heaven?

I no longer insist on my thinking as right or others as wrong. It's all your choice. Just like religion. As Venerable Sunim mentioned, regardless or christianity, Islam, Hinduism or Buddhism, they all will bring u to the top of the mountain if u follow it through. It's just the different path u choose. He had chosen Buddhism cos Buddhism gave him the right 'technology' or tool to achieve. As what one of the buddhist interviewed in Straits Times today, Buddhism do not force u to follow the teaching, but u have your own choice to choose. For me,it's the same. It's only last yr that i started reading more and i find it another kind of philosophy to read into it, it opens up more and more questions and doors.

I wish i can give this CD-ROm to all. I'm sure many have ask this question of "why they're here for", " what is the purpose of life" etc. If interested, u can get the CD-ROm fro me

Philosopher Descartes, said "I am, therefore I am". Are u the mind? Are u the name your parents give u? Are u a doctor? Engineer? Teacher? Our body is just a container. Are we then the mind? what is the mind? Can u see the mind? Mind cannot know the mind, Eyes cannot see the eyes. Then 'Who are you"?

What is the thing u drink every morning? Is it milk? Is it 'nom' (in thai)? Is it 'gyu nyu' (in japanese)? What is it? It's just a name. so what is it?

Ven Sunim mentioned that the most impressive building of all halls in the temple is the crematorium. It's the place u'll learn all the dharma. Just spend 5-10minutes there. Indeed i never went in a crematorium whenever i go toe temple. We're born into this world, and one day will pass away too. So where do we come from and where do we go after that? Ven Sunim was rather humorous. He has a harvard University. So does one's PHD, masters or whatever nots u have now make any difference when one pass away? Does certificate or status give u any better in any way when one goes?

As my sis Thai frd Adiporn mentioned to me, this human realm is the only one that can make merits and a realm that can find our true self. What is success define as? Ven Sunim mentioned that a long lasting success is finding your true nature. Even then, he never ask listeners to believe in any of the things he said, no attachment to this teachings. u can only find out by doing it.

I had been wondering why people want to meditate. For me, i fall asleep when meditating. I sat there, relax and doze off. So what are we suppose to think of when meditating? I found out that meditating is another form of reflection. Many link meditation to buddhism. But it's not. It's just a process to sit down, calm your mind to reflect, no thinking at all. When u're thinking, you lose your eyes. ( u don't see). Is there a moment your mind is not thinking? Is there a moment u don't attach yourself to your thinking? That is the moment. The moment before your thinking starts.

Venerable Sunim mentioned 4importants things:
1. Rebirth
2. Dharma
3. Finding true teachings to liberate oneself
4. Enlightenment

So who are you? Who am I? I am nothing? is it possible that 'I am nothing'? 'I am nothing' is also something. This is the answer Ven Sunum gave to the audience who throws in questions

What goes round comes round. This happens to every single thing in this universe. Even scientifically speaking. He demonstrated by drinking a glass of water, after half an hour? what comes out? Still water just a different form. In science, energy cannot be destroyed, it can only be changed to different forms. So scientifically, Karma is there, rebirth is there.

What is real? What is unreal? It's just thinking. I don't speak as well as Ven Sunim, if u want to be enlightened more, listen to this talk. It felt like philosophy to me. Philsophy on buddhism Even a teacher on philosophy present cannot answer his question. Who am I?

I give thanks to buddha for even though i couldn't help today but i was given the chance to listen to dharma.

What i said, or anyone said, u don't need to believe, buddha said nothing is permanent, so have no attachment to anything. Find out yourself
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Here is another link to the background of Venerable Hyon Gak Sunim and an interview.
http://www.buddhachannel.tv/portail/spip.php?article5284
I guess i chose the path of buddhism with the same reason as him.
But regardless of which religion, it doesn't matter, cos all points to the same direction. Just different way.

Decided to type the story out to share the story from the previous posting. A Zen story retold....

Once upona time, a great general painfully decided that it was best to attack the approaching enemies before they had a chance to spring upon his troops. A clash to the end seemed inevitable anyway. Though he had much less men than the opposition, he knew the element of surprise would help him win. This he was as sure as he could be, despite the great doubt of his men, who felt they were destined to die.

On the way to war, he stopped by a temple and told his demoralised men, "I shall hereby toss a coin. If it's heads, we will win and we shall advance; if it's tails, we will lose and there would be nothing to do but to wait for death and defeat. our fate is in destiny's hand!"

As he flipped the coin into the air after a silent prayer, all the men watched with bated breath... The coin landed heads up. Instantly charged up by the confirmation of victory, theh men became so eager to win and get the war over with, that they easily secured a crushin victory.

Delirious with joy, they yelled, "Destiny is on our side! Nothing can change our destiny!" Suddenly, the general remarked, "Indeed not!", as he revealed the coin to them - it had heads on both sides! He had fixed and won the war against so-called "fate".

What did the general's cryptic reply mean? Destiny is indeed on our side - all the time, in fact - simply because we are always choosing the destiny we believe and desire with our motivations and actions.It is exactly because we are the only ones who choose our own destiny that nothing else can change our destiny!

There is "no destiny" in the sense that there is no truly fixed fate for us; while there is destiny in the sense that there is a probable future due to what we choose in the moment.

Was destiny a supernatural force that favoured the general's army? No- it was the general's personal Wisdom and skilful means, and the collective efforts of his men, that favoured themselves. The general had "fixed" the war, thus altering the course from a dark destiny. How equally "fatalistic" it would be if the men believed they were hopeless and fought half-heartedly!

If you still think your fate is in "destiny's hand", remember this - destiny's hands are your hands, just as the general's chose. You will not simply blindly succumb to what a flipped coin shows, will you? I trust you will not leave your destiny to chance, that you will not let your lofty hopes and dreams be crushed by the weight of a mere coin.

It is just as ridiculous for the fatalistic to lament about their fate, as it is for them to not change it - Stonepeace

The best way to predict the best future for yourself is with your best of actions - Stonepeace.

I hope this story gives you hope to strive on bravely. To everyone who needs a boost once in a while..

I read a short story today in a book of Daily Enlightenment and here's the short moral of the story i want to share with everyone:

All oracles, no matter how accurate, can only predict the future - they do not cast it in stone. It is you who cast your future in stone with every following choice. We live our own self-fulfilling prophecies!

This is so true...
U can trust whatever fortune teller u want, and whatever he/she says will happen cos u believe it will. ...u make it happen before your own eyes.

It was only when something happen then people will start to take action and have solution or prevention. Many a times these applies to everywhere even work place and how we face daily situations.

For me, i just found out the importance of passing motion. Do u pass motion daily? or twice a day? For me, i never know it's a need to pass motion daily. I thought i'll only need to go to the toilet to do 'big business' only when i have the feeling. And as a result, i can go for many days without passing motion. I don't see anything wrong with that cos since young, i'm like this till now.

2days ago had such serious thoracic pain that i can't turn my back at night when sleeping. The only position i can is just to lie flat on my bed and my left centre of chest is painful. I thought i'm having some heart attack. It's really painful. Then today after i ask my mum to bring my to chinese physician did i really go and search some info on internet. Ahhh..internet can be a blessing if u use it right I found it. Good news is, it's nothing to do with the ever impt heart. It's liver.

I also didn't realise our gallbladder is linked to liver. Once the toxins and pollutants are not rid off from your body, your liver and gall might develop stones. These toxins can even cause shoulder and upper back pain.
The prob is i eat lots of fruits and vegetables already but doesn't seems to help my bowels... looks like have to look into proper diet more seriously.

So i just hope from now, everyone can take passing motion (moving your bowels) more seriously.
u can read article from Doctor Hulda Clark
www.healingcancernaturally.com/liver-gall-bladder-cleanse.html

Take care of your health.

Brought my parents to see the Hort Park and Walk the Alexandra Bridge today. They've walked the more popular Henderson bridge but didn't know the directions for the Alexandra Bridge at Telok Blangah Hill. It's a nice place to cycle and exercise if i live near that. Many joggers there and Hort Park seems to become a new ideal picnic place!

It's nice that Esplanade is showcasing more and more on Singapore Arts and Music scene. Even our Museums i've begun to frequent if i pass by cos of the interesting exhibits. I didn't really know how to appreciate or understand each art piece but just looking at the exhibits and slowly walking through Art gallery is really a nice thing to do hahha.

Ajaan koong mentioned about a thai musical performance at Esplanade so thought of popping by. It was by the Chulalongkorn University Thai Music Ensemble in Thailand. I was late so they were finishing the last 2-3 pieces. I still could recognise some of the performers. They were the same as those who perform at NUS.

While walking back by the citylink path, i use the underground link below esplanade and was captivated by the photos taken by Mimi Kuo-Deemer. The photos weren't framed up but was 'printed' on the wall. The features of the nuns in ropes and their expressions were really clear. Her work showed 'Women in the pursuit of spritiual Englightenment" Portraits of Bhutanese Nuns". Do take it look if u were there. A small choir was singing at one corner of the underground passageway. It's good they're trying to promote more and more lively arts and music scene